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A Small White Flag

by Mark Lenover

I am an unloaded gun I am out of opinions I don't have a bit of sense I am of no consequence My intellectual incest produced nothing of interest I have done my very best to decorate my empty nest When the truth feels devastating and unreal I tell myself lies A theory without evidence a slight, perfunctory argument I am impotent and small I am hardly here at all I don't know what to tell you How I wish I could help you I have one piece of muffled advice: plug your ears and cover your eyes Take a vacation from self-deprecation and tell yourself lies
I can hear you breathing and I can feel your pulse Your pallor was deceiving and your death-rattle was false Dead men can force a smile Dead men can yet survive You can always retreat to your coffin when things get beyond your control It's a strategy that's served you well but how far are you willing to go? A hiding place must be kept secret and death is a dangerous role You might just get buried alive Just how far are you willing to go? You can hear us laughing but you pretend you don't Your calm veneer is cracking and soon you'll be exposed Dead men can force a smile Dead men can yet survive In a way you are starved for attention but you only feel safe on your own The cuts and the burns might imply just how far you are willing to go Your scars are a manifestation of a suffering nobody knows but some day the cuts might dig too deep Just how far are you willing to go? Dead men can force a smile Dead men can yet survive Dead men can act awhile just as though they're alive
They've built a life and maybe that's enough I'm so far behind I will never catch up They've got their children and their weekends off but I don't want children and I don't have a job They might think I'm jealous they're only half wrong They've got careers and I've only got songs They've got responsibilities and bills while I live on charity, junk food and pills I've gotta run, gotta run, gotta run, gotta run some other way I dive under the water's untroubled surface through the murky pollution to discover my purpose I'm alone when I surface Are they so far ahead? Or are they just better at holding their breath? Considering romance my heart turns to stone I really just want to be left on my own If nobody wants me I really don't care I've got what I need and I don't want to share I've gotta run, gotta run, gotta run, gotta run some other way I suppose it all boils down to one simple question: Will I be the rule, or the lonesome exception? Am I prepared to give up all that I've got for a place out amongst you, or my own private spot in a quiet asylum where nobody speaks of treatment as the building settles and creaks behind razor-wire fencing, reaching all around not to keep our kind in, but to keep the rest out I've gotta run...


released July 2, 2019

All songs written, performed and recorded by Mark Lenover.

Mastered by David Disher


all rights reserved



Mark Lenover

Through a distinctive fusion of folk, rock, theatre and electronica, Mark Lenover critically examines pop culture’s ubiquitous influence, its moral philosophy and the potentially devastating effects of drug abuse and mental illness. His recent work frequently challenges an increasingly pervasive culture of celebrity, self-indulgence, distraction and desire. ... more

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